Winning things is my favorite.

Image by ipythias via Flickr

It turns out the secret to winning bets while playing pool is to play with someone that isn't very good. I had no idea. Here I was, wasting years of my life trying to hit all the little balls into all the little holes when all I had to do, really, was stand around and wait for my opponent to scratch on the eight-ball.
Last night, a friend of mine and I had a very high-stakes tournament going (the loser cooks a fancy-shmancy dinner for the winner) and I was all serious and aiming and calling and just as I was about to lose (you totally know where this is going), I won. Javier scratched the eight ball. Yay, me! We were playing best three out of five so I went into the next game thinking that I'd totally rock this one, THIS was the game where I'd blow him out of the water and instead, I played even worse than before. And he totally scratched the eight ball. Third game, I didn't even bother. I just sort of walked around the table and tapped haphazardly at striped balls. And then Javier scratched the eight ball. This, as I made sure to inform him repeatedly, made me the winner. I am the winner, Javier is the loser, and the world is a good, good place.
I'm thinking of making a career out of this. If you aren't very good at pool, I will totally play you for money. Call me.
Did I mention that I am a winner? Because I am. I totally win things.