Friday, May 29, 2009

Mud Bunnies

So Ike figured out the jumping thing. I suppose I shouldn't be as surprised as I was, given that he is a rabbit. That sort of thing comes naturally to the species, I think. It's just that he's so small! I thought it would be days, maybe weeks before he could clear a seven inch barrier. I was wrong. A few hours ago, I was lying in bed, sick and feeling sorry for myself when there was an especially loud thump coming from the direction of Ike. Startled, I sat up, turned on the light, and there he was, sprawled out on the floor looking slightly dazed. All of his bones are intact, I checked, but I'm going to have to get a more secure home for him right away. There's no chicken-wire or screens in my apartment (a fact which usually pleases me) so I had to improvise when it came to escape-proofing his current residence. For now, there's a colander upside-down on the tank, weighed down with books. Kind of ghetto, but it works. At least Ike can breathe in there.

I'm missing a mud-wrestling match tonight. My neighbor, Sooz, is one of the wrestlers and I'd been planning for weeks to attend and support but this plague I've got has knocked me out cold. Instead, I lent her my video camera and helped with costuming. Since this is all-girl mud wrestling, we had to assume that there would be wardrobe malfunctions. This meant making sure that all essential lady-parts were covered and secured. The bottom half wasn't a problem - bathing suit bottoms are nearly impossible to tear - but we had to figure out what we were going to do with her nipples, should they decide to make an appearance. The obvious choice is tape - you know, the wide black kind; just make a couple of 'x's and she's ready to go. Unfortunately for us, we have no wide black tape so we used a handful of band-aids, instead. This worked, but the band-aids matched her skin tone exactly and it looked kind of creepy. Inspiration struck. I grabbed the nearest Sharpie and drew big black 'x's on her boobs, over the band-aids. Perfect.
And then it occurred to both of us that she would be mud wrestling. In mud. Thick, sticks to everything, BROWN mud. If her top did get torn, everything from eyebrows to toes would be caked in brown mud anyway. All that effort and brain storming was for nothing. But hey! At least I can say I drew on her chest. We'll always have that little gem of an anecdote.
Sooz is super-excited and I'm kind of sorry that I'm going to miss it. I've never seen mud-wrestling before and while it isn't high on my list of Things To See, I really enjoy my neighbor and it would have been fun to see her having such a blast. At least there will be video.

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